Daniel Turnwald, Kentucky General Agent
859-331-0249   daniel.turnwald@kofc.org

Family Matters and Holiday Gatherings

By John R. Ingrisano, CLU

Most of us don't think of the holiday season as a good time to meet with family members to discuss such topics as health care and financial power of attorney, the location of a will, questions  about estate planning or other family issues.  However, very often, the holidays are in fact the best time to discuss such matters.

For many families scattered across the country, Thanksgiving and Christmas  are the only times each year when the clan gathers together.  Enjoy the festivities, good food and holiday traditions.  But this year, consider also scheduling some time for parents, siblings and adult children to discuss important family matters.

Why is this important?  Families tend to wait until it is too late to discuss important issues - when the one person who knows the answers is not able to provide them.  How will the bills be paid if Dad is in the hospital?  Has Grandpa designated a durable power of attorney?  Where is Mom's will?  Who was supposed to get Grandma's wedding ring?  Has anybody found the key to the safe deposit box?

At first glance, this may not seem like joyful holiday fare.  They are certainly not great topics for discussion around the Thanksgiving table.  Nonetheless, there are at least three advantages to discussing these important family matters at some point during the holidays - or at any time for that matter.   For one, parents can explain their decisions and concerns about their estate plans, keeping their loved ones in the loop.  Other  family  members  can also express their desires and concerns.  Finally, such discussions can strengthen family bonds, bring loved ones closer together and avoid future misunderstandings.

So, this year, ask family members to adjourn to the den or family room for 30 minutes before the football game or the start of the Thanksgiving Day parade, or while everyone is digesting their Christmas dinners.  (It is also recommended that you mention the meeting in advance so everyone can come prepared.  For a suggested discussion checklist, see the November Columbia Magazine, pg 8.)  Then plan to meet again the following year as part of a family tradition - perhaps for an hour after a holiday feast or over breakfast on New Year's Day.  Make it a pleasant ritual.

Of course, family meetings may not work for every family.  If you believe such gatherings may prove contentious, arrange to talk privately with individuals.  Either way, be sure to review your needs and take appropriate action.

In the right circumstances, and if everyone cooperates, such holiday gatherings can be an effective way to mix business and pleasure during the holidays, ensuring that each person's interests are understood and considered.